Coaching

Coaching: How it cracked me open and helped me see my successes

                We are our own worst critics.  Until coaching I never realized how much I put myself down.  It was like an internal battle ever day in my mind that nobody won! I would constantly kick myself for not finishing a project.  Then I would finish a project, but it didn’t live up to my “standards.”  There was absolutely no balance.  I only looked at the negative and overlooked all my successes and accomplishments.  Our egos make it SO easy to focus on what didn’t go as planned VS. realizing we took a step in the direction of our dreams.  No wonder out society is the way it is.  We constantly compare ourselves to others on social media and in life, and in turn receive comments that compare us to others on social media and in life.  We CAN’T WIN.

                When I started with my coach, the first thing we worked on was helping me see my worth and looking at where my ego shows up in my day to day life.  Little did I know, I had been living my life in fear, leading from my ego!  Fear of rejection and of judgment.  I am forever grateful for his viewpoints and knowledge that helped me have this realization. I had kept myself in this never-ending hamster wheel of “What ifs,” and I never took any action steps.  Can we say yawn?

                I was hooked after learning that consciousness.  The smallest changes, every day, has completely changed my viewpoint of life.  Consistency is key.  Next thing I knew I was investing in myself and career VS. objects I didn’t need.  See, I would buy things to try to make myself feel better.  But then a day later, buy more things to make myself feel even more better.  I was filling an empty hole, and wasting energy and money doing so! So, one day I sat down and got real about my goals, my money beliefs, my actions.  And I took risks.  I just took a step.  Every day.  Most of the time I never knew where I was going to land, but I took the step anyways.

What we don’t realize is that the smallest changes can make the biggest impact.  Keep moving forward, then look back after 6 months, even a year, and you don’t even recognize who you were.  When you reach goals, no matter how big or small, you still pat yourself on the back and then put another foot forward.  These victories are what fill us up and puts more fuel in our tanks for the next step. 

Money Beliefs

   Money beliefs: Giving in order to receive, money flow

  Money is energy. It’s as simple as that. Money responds to what energy you give to it.  This was a HUGE shift for me.  Think back to growing up. Can you remember the first few thoughts you had about money?  Was it an experience that made you think there wasn’t enough? Or too much? One of my favorite lessons my coach taught me was to go to others that I look up to and see how they treat and feel about money. Can we say WOW. Some fellow peers really shocked me. And it hit me, the difference between our physical existence. Think about it, we learn from our parents, siblings, peers, our surroundings. The people closest to us. Our thoughts and beliefs are formed through our realities and influences.

I am not talking bad about your upbringing or saying that someone was right or wrong.  It’s our assumptions that lead us to feel a certain way towards money.  I ALWAYS believed I never had enough. I took money in but spent it mindlessly.  Every time I spent money, I felt this huge sense of guilt. I told myself that I would never make any more and that I shouldn’t be spending it because I was poor. I completely blocked the flow of money and all its goodness that it brings.  I was my own worst enemy and I couldn’t even see it. My comfort zone was staying in the mindset that I wasn’t good enough to make money. I didn’t deserve it and I told myself that it’s never there when I need it. I thrived off the thought that I would have to work my butt off to make it. I fed that damn ego of mine. It was for me to prove my worthiness to myself and everyone else. This was the cycle, on repeat in my head…for years. 

It wasn’t until recently that I realized I kept myself in this small box of limited possibilities. Money is everywhere. Let me repeat, money surrounds all of us all the time. It’s waiting for you to see it, grab it, love it, give it. I was blocking all the ways I could receive it and more importantly giving it.   Imagine money as a dear friend. How you treat money, would you treat a close friend the same way?  Treating a friend in a way that makes them feel like they aren’t enough, being in fear of it, etc. Do you think your friend would hang around? How and where you focus your energy, it grows.  So, what happens when you focus your energy on thinking you will never have enough? You attract “not enough.”

Abundance

Abundance: Clarity

The other day I caught myself comparing on social media.  That damn green-eyed monster… the ego… creeping up and making me compare myself to this stranger.  I wish I had her nice clothes, her pretty hair and shoes.  I thought to myself; Why can’t I have more money?

 Why is it SO DAMN easy to compare ourselves and look at others but not within ourselves? I wasted time, again, focusing on what the ego mind wants, and not what my soul needs. I felt defeated, depleted, and inadequate.  What if for every negative thought we create, we follow it up with a positive one, until there are no negative thoughts left. Or even follow up with a positive action?

Just because you don’t have the monetary value in your bank account doesn’t mean you are inadequate, poor, or in lack.  You have abundance in things all around you.  What if you have a strong support system, or a loving full family, food on the table. What if you are able to sneak outside at some point in the day to appreciate the sun on your skin, or the clouds in the sky. Look beyond what the ego shows you.  Pause and look deeper.  Flowers blooming, someone bringing you your favorite tea, your friend calling you with good news. Whenever I feel the judgment creeping in I try to do the opposite. I donate my time or money. I pay for someone’s coffee without them knowing. I try to give in some form or another.

  When you switch your thoughts to those of being in alignment, abundance, love, you see clearer.  You attract the people who lift you up, who add to your life.  This in turn will attract more abundance into your life.  What you put out into the world comes back to you three- fold.  Try this; for the next 48 hours try to not judge, or think negatively. And if you do, give to someone. Even if it’s a compliment. You never know the impact you have on someone else! Try to make a list of all of the abundance in your life. And really look at the list, you might surprise yourself.

Limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs:

 

The belief system we create to hold us back from our deepest desires.  It all starts with who and what we surround ourselves with.  When something happens in our lives we have to opportunity to react to the situation.  Every situation that comes across us is an opportunity to learn and grow.  Even when it seems dark, there is light at the end of the tunnel.  By holding ourselves in the darkness we are limiting ourselves.  We are holding ourselves in a state of fear and lack, and we stay depleted.  How would we see the silver lining if we are stuck in the mindset of “Why me?”

By realigning ourselves with appreciation and gratitude we have a deeper understanding of our lives.  We truly have opportunities around us that can help us achieve what we want.  Who are we to say that we don’t have enough money, or enough knowledge, or support.  Do you see where your alignment is?

The difference between I can’t and what is the first step, is you.  You must consciously choose the step forward VS. living in fear.  Where does fear get us? It holds us in a state of small thinking.  You can’t achieve greatness from the same place you hold resentment. 

What I try to do when I feel the lower vibration is the opposite.  When I limit myself by believing I don’t have enough money, I give some.  When I limit myself by thinking I don’t have talent, I create something.  When I limit myself by thinking I cannot write, I write a page about something that feels important to me.  When you feel the lack, it usually means it’s trying to get through to you. 

Consciously choose to face the fear and the limiting belief head on.  Try this for a week!! See the difference in your lives.  I promise you, you will not be disappointed. 

Self- worth

Self worth:

 

I have a yearning desire to share with everyone.  To show compassion, to lead, and to give back.   I love working with people and helping them reach their goals.  But one struggle I kept coming back to was my self-worth.  And one MAJOR roadblock was getting past myself. 

One of the BIGGEST issues people have is not believing in themselves.  Every time I had a great idea I told myself 3 scenarios on why it wouldn’t work.  I bashed myself, I put myself down, and I put myself last.  All without even knowing it.  I had so much passion, knowledge, and gifts that I was suppressing because I lived in this false reality that I created myself.  A reality that kept me thinking small.  Why would anyone listen to me? I am inexperienced. I am not the best in my field of expertise and I have my own everyday issues that I battle.  So, yea, why would someone want me to help them? This replayed in my mind for years.  BUT once I realized that these doubts were my strengths, everything changed.

Not every day is perfect.  Some days do NOT go as planned.  (Ahem, Today for example.) How would we grow? How would we expand our knowledge, businesses, our relationships? Through trial and error.  Through heartache. Being burned by someone and rising back up.  Or, our business plans not working the way we thought. The list goes on.   The important thing is to stand back up and do it again. Take another step forward because there is some type of success in everything.

The gifts that have been given to you in this lifetime, are yours and your alone.  You have it within yourself to rise, take on the challenge, grow and achieve your deepest desires.  You HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.  You are unique, as are your talents.  You have something to offer someone that no one else can in this world does.   Don’t deny people your gifts, your experience, or your lessons learned.  Don’t deny people, YOU.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness:

This is a hard one.  This takes practice, patience, and understanding.  The quote, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”  This took me SO long to wrap my brain around.  The understanding of forgiveness takes time, it could take years.  I am still working on forgiveness for things that happened 23 years ago.  It took me so long to realize that I am doing a disservice to myself by holding onto past transgressions.  I was allowing a monster to live inside my head, control my life, and I accepted it.  Hell, I helped it grow! But as a child you don’t realize the effect your thoughts have on your being.  For years I lived with hatred for someone, which turned into self-loathing, which spiraled out of control. 

Until I started to accept it, make sense of it, and grow from it. I shed light on it, instead of darkness.  That is where the healing happens.  When you consciously choose to turn your hatred, self- loathing thoughts to love, kindness, giving.  Your world changes.  Your experiences change.  You change your ego centered mind to the mind of love.

Love yourself, love your life, and love your experiences.  Because no matter how heartbreaking they might be, they shape you into the very being that you are.  You are whole, you are perfect, you are love.  And if those situations would have happened in any other way, you wouldn’t be you.  And how heartbreaking would that be?

Fears:

Understanding your fear:

For so long I ran away from fear.  That minute I felt like I had lost control of a situation I ran.  And I would do everything in my power to convince myself and everyone around me that I made the best choice by leaving. 

When you start to look within yourself and try to understand your feelings, you can come out ahead of them.  Instead of running from my fears, I choose to recognize the feeling I am feeling, and try to understand why.

 Usually with fear, it means you are heading in a direction that makes you feel uncomfortable, uneasy, it’s not within your comfort zone.  So naturally it makes sense, to run from the unknown.  But what if we welcomed it with open arms, as a growth period.  There is a gift that is being given to you within these feelings.  Growth, expansion, a chance to get out ahead from the spot you have been stuck.  To be able to create the life you have dreamed of, that you yearn for.  Take it as a gift, not a weakness.  It is your body’s natural reaction to growing pains.

When we don’t live life with uncomfortable situations, we are blocking our growth.  We are situated in a zone of easiness, AKA our comfort zone. We all know, nothing grows here.  If you start to recognize your fears and say, “ Oh! It is time to learn from this. What am I not noticing in my life that I need to pay attention to? Where do I need to make adjustments?”  I promise you things will change. Be ready for a major shift in your life. Run towards your fears because everything you desire is on the other side. Your goals, dreams, self fulfillment, love, enlightenment, service for others. Take a step forward and start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.